I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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