yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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