Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
