I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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