i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is my gift to your gina
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
