You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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