I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it's great music for shaving your balls
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
