He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
