i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Found the puke drawer
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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