so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
