i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
