so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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