I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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