my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
