So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
