Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You took a bar mat shot.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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