So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
