At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
