On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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