Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
