So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
