walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
