when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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