i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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