Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
