I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
