I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
