People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
