you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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