He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
