i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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