So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
