I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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