I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
