Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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