So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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