I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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