it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
