Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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