seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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