We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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