It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
