There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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