**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize