i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
