8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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