EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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