I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
