sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
