my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
