living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
