He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
