Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
