You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
