so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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