I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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