i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Please, let me fuck your mom
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He passed out mid-signature
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
