on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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