How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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