she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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