Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
